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Discipling Ministry called Impact 195 has transformed my thinking about service to God, dying to self, and the implications of a life lived for God's will and not my own.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Why should God let me into Heaven?


I ran across a document I wrote as part of an application to get into a choir.  The question asked, "What would you tell God if He asked you why should He let you into Heaven?"

Dear Lord,

I am a sinner, separated from you by my own rebellion and by my inherited unworthiness.  I have broken all of your commands at a heart level.  I have made myself God in my own sight.  I am very sorry for this.  (Rom 3:11)

However, you searched for me and called me.  I am so thankful for that.  I accepted your invitation to relationship in 1994.  I received you and made you my own.  I claimed your Son’s crucified blood and body as the payment for my sins.  I believe your Son is alive and exalted.  It is His worthiness and His alone that I claim as my own.   Your Holy Spirit’s seal has confirmed this.  I am a fellow heir with your own Son, and an adopted child of Yours. (John 11:25, Eph 1:7, Gal 3:26-29 and Gal 4:1-7)

You have marked me.  You chose me.  I have citizenship in Your Heaven now.  (Eph 1:13, Eph 2:8, Eph 1:4, Phil 4:20)

You cannot condemn me because I am buried with Christ, and resurrected with Him also.  I am so glad you only see your Son’s glory when you look at me.  Thank you for forgiving and forgetting my sins.  (Rom 8:1-2)

You have made these promises and declarations and cannot go back on your own word. (Psalm 145:14)


PS.  Of course God will not ask me why He needs to let me into His heaven.  My name will be already written in the book of Life, and I only long to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant”.  

Thank you for the opportunity to remind myself of these wonderful, other-worldly, blessings on my life.

Jesus is coming soon.  And, I will be ready.


I wrote that 3 years ago in an application sense trying to show off my knowledge of eternal security.  Truthfully, I think I would probably just fall on my face and ask for Mercy.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The nightmare before Christmas!

This time of year reminds me to be very thankful.  Jump in my blog and go for a ride with me for a few minutes.  I had just left a Christmas Party at my office in San Diego.  I was excited for the mug, candy, and gift card to McDonald's.   It was the Christmas season and I was leaving right after our lunch to head to Phoenix to spend the holidays with my family.  It is about a 5 hour ride if you don't stop too long in Yuma for gas and food.  I prayed that God would give me the opportunity to give like He had given so much to me.  And I was off....


The first 2 1/2 hours went by quickly through the mountains and desert.  I play my Christian music through my ipod and just sing along the whole way.  The time goes by very quickly.  I made my usual stop in Yuma for gas.   It was a cold night, and I saw a man with a sign that read "hungry and traveling".   Hmm...I thought, as I slowed down.    I rolled down the window, and instead of just giving a dollar, I asked him, "Where are you going?"  He replied, "Gila Bend."  He then asked me where I was going.  I meekly answered, "Phoenix."  Gulp.  I knew that I had opened a can of worms and he now knew there was no reason for me not to take him in my big, spacious, Nissan Murano.  Oh well, I thought, then replied, "Come on in, I'll get you to Gila Bend."


As soon as he got in the car, I realized I had misjudged the situation greatly.  The smell of  body odor and alcohol permeated his being.  Trying to think quickly, I asked if he wanted some food, hoping this might sober him up.  He said yes.  I stopped across the street at KFC to get a quick sandwich.  He got out of the car and followed me in.  He was making a scene, being loud, and everyone was looking at me.  I was so embarrassed.  And, fear was starting to grow inside me.


Fortunately, I thought quickly before we got into the car.  I made a call to my brother and told him the situation, and said to call me back in 2 hours.   If I didn't answer, he was to call the police.  As I got in, I put a small knife between my legs, hidden, so that I might react to any troublesome situation.  I unlocked his door and the journey commenced.


Things seemed to start out okay.  We got on the road, and he starts the conversation with, "I guess this is where I tell you my story."  After a pause, he grinned and told me his name was Shawn.  He started telling his story, it was mostly jumbled, disconnected, and contradictory.  Sometimes I think he realized the contradictions and would backtrack his story.  But, being very inebriated, he couldn't follow his own story.  Let me just say that the words, "on the run", "murder one", "killed a nigger", "sister's a whore", "pedophila", "child abuse" all came up during thIs introduction.   Needless to say, I am very scared and wondering when I will have to draw my knife.  My heart was pounding, and I think every sense in my body was on full alert.  


He then told me he had to go pee.  I saw a rest area sign in another couple miles.  He couldn't wait.  He said he'd just go in his pants.  He did smell as if that was an option, but I didn't want it on my seats.  So, I saw an empty cup.  He whipped his penis out and started peeing as I sped down the highway.  Oh my, what was happening?  How did I get into this mess.  He proceeded to tell me more of his story, but he seemed to start getting angry and scarier.  I tried to steer the conversation to happy topics, but his life seemed to have so many sad and tragic endings.  At one point, he stopped talking to me and turned his head and just started staring at me.  I was ready to stab him, but I just asked him why he was staring at me.  There seemed something very sinister in his response.  He sneered, "I'm deciding, if I'm going to pick on you."  My heart skipped a beat.  I know the next response came from the Holy Spirit because everything else in my body was screaming, "Get out of here!"  But, I responded, calmly, "You are not going to do any picking.  I will have to let you out if you do."  I thought to myself, "How stupid was that, Mike."   


About this time, the border stop about half way to Gila Bend appeared.  There were lots of cars and Border Police.  I could have this guy arrested, or turned in, or something.  As my car was getting closer, "Shawn" took something out of his pocket and threw it out of the window.  It looked like a small piece of paper.  I asked him, "What was that?"   He replied smiling, then laughing, "Drugs".  It didn't look like anything, and I thought, "Doesn't this hitchhiker know any hiking etiquette?"  How silly, as if I thought I knew these rules.  The checkpoint appeared, and my decision was nearing, but all I could hear was a voice telling me that I promised to get him to Gila Bend.  What?!  God, you have to be kidding?  Integrity, now?  Well, I slowly pulled away from my last hope.


As we resumed conversing, Shawn took off his hat.  His thick hair was matted but the sides that were outside the hat were sticking up, giving this man the look of horns.  Every time he looked at me, I thought I was looking into the face of Satan.  The cars thinned out, it was about 8 pm, and I just knew that my life might end at any moment.  His every movement was closely monitored by my eyes.  I was ready to send the car into a roll if he tried anything.  It seemed as though he was looking at my legs, and I kept wondering if he saw my knife.


About 30 miles from Gila Bend, he said he had to pee again.  This time there was no cup.  He suggested going in his pants again.  Nooooooo!  I took the first exit, pulled to the side and said "Pee, out there."  I realized that now I was stopped.  He could kill me right here.  I could speed away right now, and just leave him there.  Why couldn't I do this?  I kept hearing the voice, "Keep your word."  
He got back into the car, and he seemed to be getting less drunk, which scared me, because his strength and coordination seemed to be returning.  My heart beat faster and stronger.


Finally, I start doing most of the talking.  I ask him if he knows Jesus.  He says a little.  He says he tried to be a Christian once, but it didn't work.  I explained that the great thing about Jesus, is that He gives us more than just one chance.  And, even if it didn't work on his merit, Jesus still paid the penalty for him if he wanted to accept him as his Savior.  He seemed confused, and seemed sorrowful.  I asked him if I could pray for him.  He declined.  I kept talking about Jesus, because it seemed to soothe him and me. He did say something very sad, that he had no friends, no family. He said, "I guess you are my family."  Although, that sounded very creepy to me, the said thing was, I was probably the closest thing to a family he had seen in a long time.


I was speeding down Interstate 8 at about 95 mph.  I didn't care if I got stopped, at least this guy would get picked up.  No such luck.  However, the lights of Gila Bend came into view.  Wow!  I was never so happier to see Gila Bend.  


I was growing stronger, and bolder with my declarations about Jesus.  He seemed defeated.  It was strange, my heart still felt compassion on him even after being the most scared I had been in my life at his hands.  


I asked him where I could drop him, and he said, "McDonald's".  It was cold out and I wished him luck.  I pulled into McDonald's and parked.  But, he seemed to not to want to move.  He slowly opened the door, then turned and lunged toward my leg.  I visibly flinched.  He took ahold of my leg, and said, "You promised to pray for me!"  Relieved, I said, "Yes, I did."  I said a short, sincere prayer for him for traveling mercies and for God to stay near to him.  He said, "Thank You." and started to leave.  I said, "Wait".  Here is a gift card.  I think it was meant for you.  He took it and left.   SIGH.


I drove a half mile to Burger King, got out and went to the rest room, washed my hands, said a prayer of thanks to God, and got a few paper towels to wipe down my car seat. It smelled of urine and body odor all the rest of the way to Phoenix. God had answered my prayers.  I was a different person, and hopefully, Shawn was too.