Failure and its cost

What happens when your plans don't work out the way you imagined, dreamed, or hoped?  Have you ever started something and not finished it?  Does failure at anything frighten you? 


I had a failure last week.  It wasn't anything I planned, or could foresee.  But, it was a definite failure.  


I have been having a tough time with one pre-schooler named Leo.  He is 5 years old, very smart, and bigger than the rest of the kids in my class.  He regularly answers the questions when asked and not asked.  He likes to be first in line, first to finish and first place in general.  His work is generally very good.  He likes to tattle on any child that is not to his liking of the rules.  Lately, he has started to say "no" a lot to me.  Teacher Mike, I no like.  Teacher Mike, I no want.  Teacher Mike, it was not me.  Well, after a long day of encounters like that and me touching his head with some papers (he was fine), and him screaming I hurt him, then came the finale.  At the end of the day, he runs by me, trips and stubs his foot on my shoe and starts ranting about me hurting him.  Teacher Mike, I no like you.  Teacher Mike, you are mean teacher.  Teacher Mike, I hate you.   I hate you!! Wow, I didn't teach him that word.  In one split second, I repeated his words back to him, "I hate you, too."  I said it calmly, but no points for that.  I had become a five year old.  He continued to scream as it was time for him to catch the bus.  I said calmly, but sternly "Go home".  "Tell your mother."  I didn't want to hear it.  His foot was fine.


I don't tell you all of that to justify myself.  I wasn't.  I was suppose to be his teacher, protector, and champion.  I relinquished that in an instant to gratify a longing to lash out.  


At first, it didn't bother me.  The child deserved it, I thought.  He's a brat.   Little did I know, a couple hours later, phone calls, administrators, parents, and grandparents would be in an uproar.  


The next day the parents came in to speak to the Administrator.  I was suppose to meet her also.  She didn't want an apology.  She wanted my head.  Well, she didn't get my head, but a suspension was deemed the best recourse to satisfy all parties.


At first I was mad and indignant.  I was going to pack up and go home.  Who needs this aggravation?  Slowly, it dawned on me that the main purpose of loving these children and setting an example for their parents was my main goal here in China.  It felt like a sucker punch to the gut.  I failed.  


For a few hours, nothing would solace me.  A friend (thanks Amber) shared a verse from Colossians 1:21 - 22  


Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.  But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—


Free from accusation, now that is a nice thought.  Yes, I deserved censure and discipline.  But, in the Spiritual realm, I was blameless in the sight of God.  Thank you Jesus for your physical death, and resurrection that transforms me in your Father's sight.


Do you feel like the Psalmist:


^40:11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD;
   may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
¹² For troubles without number surround me;
   my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
   and my heart fails within me. 




But, forget verse 13 -

¹³ Be pleased to save me, LORD;
   come quickly, LORD, to help me.


He will, He has, and He will again.


Do you feel terrible for some sort of failure: parenting, job, relationship, addiction, etc?


Do you feel like the lyrics in DCTalk's "What if I stumble?"


What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?



Yes, I made myself a fool.  But, the love will continue anyway.  


Lamentations 3:22-24
  Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
 They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.”

So, get up, walk worthy and finish the race.  He has already finished it for you anyway.

I go back Thursday to teaching.  Only this time  I go with renewed vigor and prayer for Leo, his parents, and for me. 

Cultural Training 101

Life in China is not crazy different, but here are a few pointers for those of you who may visit in the near future.

1.  Carry a shopping bag with you, or your backpack.  Bags are not free.  As the cashier checks out your items shake your head twice.  I just keep shaking "no" at any question, until they show me the total.

2.  Find an English website for the bus routes before you come.

3.  Carry tissue with you at all times, or you will have to become very creative with your hygiene, because tissue is not provided either.

4.  Don't be afraid to wear your clothes multiple days.  Everyone does it.  When you do wash, the best places to dry, are near the radiators, at least in the winter time.

5.  The drain in the middle of the bathroom is an all inclusive drain for shower, washer, and spills that goes directly to sewer.

6.  I have not found anything about bus frequency on routes.  So, just wait until one shows up for you.

7.  There is no pedestrian right of way.  Very important!  If the cross walk says "green", it just means this is a better time to cross without being hit...proceed cautiously.  Cars are King.  They will not stop for you.  They may honk, but don't expect them to stop.

8.  Fireworks are more than for New Years.  They are for Wedding Days, opening businesses, and in general anything.   Get used to hearing them at anytime of day.

9.  Your favorite American brands, if you can find them are usually twice the cost, or even more.

10. Laughs, giggles and conversations are probably not about you.  But could be, just smile and relax.

11. Anything bigger than a 34 inch waist is called "Fat man's pants".  They need some marketing skills here.

12. Body language is key.  Become good at Charades.  The local ladies at the supermarket get a kick at trying to figure out what I am trying to buy or find.  Ajax, and Picnic were two recent examples that seemed lost on the locals.

13. There are employees everywhere in the stores.  It seems like one for every aisle.  They will restock an item as soon as you select it and put it in your cart.

14. Get used to strange sights:  swimmers walking out of the ocean, beet red smiling.  Small trucks carrying loads 4x as big as the vehicle.  Every animal part hanging from the posts in the meat section.

15.  Almost all denominations of money have Chairman Mao's face on it.

16. Get used to walking.

17.  Hope you like soy sauce and oil.  There are aisles of different varieties.

Well, this is usually the place I'd put a scripture.  There are many that apply.  Do not complain, Rejoice always, Be humble, Do not have haughty eyes, Accept weaker, or stronger brothers.  You may know them.  They all speak to me at one point or another.

Lastly, smile and enjoy and look for God's presence while you are there.  

Becoming like a little child

^{Mark 10:13} One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

 ¹⁴ When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. ¹⁵ I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” ¹⁶ Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them.

I will admit that I always thought these verses were cute, but didn't really understand them.  As a single guy, I have missed out on what you parents probably have easily grasped and understood.  I have only been here for about a month and about 8 of those days working.  However, the last two days really stand out illuminating the reference above.  


I have between 5 and 12 preschoolers on any given day.  Since it is still close to Chinese New Year, there have been only 6 the last couple of days.  This has given me a chance to really get up close and personal and really play with each child, for at least a few minutes.


Each day these 3-5 year olds come into class and trust me to help them with their coats and clothing.  They expect me to feed  them, help them in the restroom, entertain them, and keep them safe.  They sleep/nap in safety, and follow me outdoors and in the hallways wherever I go.  They ask freely, share their emotions freely, and forgive and forget readily.  They are curious, love to explore, and feel free to tug on your face, jump on your torso, pull on your cheeks, and stare into your eyes as you hold them for long moments.  They are cared for lovingly and tenderly.  


And I get to just watch, listen, participate in their world, and just love on them for being there.  I get to tuck them in for naps and watch them sleep in comfort.  I get to rub noses, comb hair, pat backs, and warm their hands.  


There are moments I direct and guide, redirect, and even physically move them to safer and better situations.  I get to teach, hold, and provide.


The small whispers, shrieks of joy, little giggles, and loud screams are all different but recognizable and distinguishable in the busy room of activity.


How many times does God call us His children, His little children, and His child?  Innumerable, at least without the help of some Biblical software.  Let me just say - a lot!


He leads me.  He guides me.  He provides for me in abundance.  He wants the best for me, and even disciplines me to help me grow.  He lets me explore.  He wants me to enjoy His presence.  He sacrifices Himself for me.  He prepares a place, a banquet and a feast for me.  He watches over me when I sleep.  He looks forward to the next time I engage Him.


Does this sound like a Father?  Yeah..it sounds like my Heavenly Father.  It sounds like my Daddy.  That phrase during prayers usually annoys me...but, today, I like it just a little bit more than I used to.


PS.  Meet 3 more of my little kiddos.

1 John 3:1a

New King James Version (NKJV)

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!

Fireworks and Fake Money

There are a few traditions here in China at New Years time that stick out.  Meeting with friends and family for fellowship and food, and  making dumplings together, and then eating them the next day, and visiting the relatives for a short stay stand out as my favorites.  Then there are fireworks...all day and all night.  At first it was fun, tantalizing, mesmerizing, loud, and sometimes beautiful.  Now, it seems annoying, mundane, and trite.  Everyone gets together and lights their firecrackers as they meet one another.  The fireworks  echo through the canyons of skyscrapers.  Once you are done, you leave the mess behind on the sidewalks and go about your business.

Another tradition is burning money to your dead ancestors.  Well, not real money, but paper with lots of zeroes behind the numbers.  So, take your fake money and burn it, so the smoke will reach either the gods or your ancestors so they can have funds to live a happy afterlife.  We called it "fake money to fake gods".

At first I thought, "how silly, they are!"  Then the thought occurred to me that this is what most of us do everyday, maybe not to ancestors or gods, but our own homemade idols.  Don't we take the money we earn, burn it to our own habits, addictions, and obsessions - usually things that have no eternal purpose whatsoever.  If it is not used for God's economy, it is really just burning it to fake gods.  Then, with the things we have purchased we revel loudly and with abandon.  Sure, it is fun at first, but soon these bad choices lead to a mess for us, and others.

Fortunately, there is one who has the right currency and the ability to clean up messes.  The currency - a perfect and holy life - spent as a sacrifice for the messes we made.  His spent blood sacrifice washes our dirty sins white as snow.  The mess is sent far away, "as far as the East is from the West", and remembered no more.

Hallelujah!  What a Savior!


Isaiah 1:18  “ Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “ Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.


Revelation 7:14
And I said to him, “Sir, you know.” So he said to me, “These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

Psalm 103:12
As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.


Lord, forgive me for burning so much of my resources to false gods.  Thank you for providing a Heavenly solution to put my sin into time, and my soul into eternity with You.  

My New buddy

Happy New Year!

The Chinese New Year is also called the Spring Festival.  It is a very festive time leading up to the bid day, which is this coming Sunday Evening here.   Gift giving of usually food items is the normal tradition.  Also fireworks all night and all day.   Nothing super fancy about them so far, just the big fireworks that clang and bang.  They are especially loud ringing through the spaces of these big condo towers.  There is a small celebration, called the Small New Year a week before.  The entire evening from 6 pm to 10 pm rang with fireworks.  It seemed like a small war was going on outside the windows.  The bursts of light and sound were fun to watch for a while.  I'm told to expect even more fireworks than this for the actual night.

I met my class last week.  It is a mixture of Chinese, Japanese, and a Korean child.  We seemed to hit it off well.  There is one child that I remember from my April visit.  His name is Shunda.  He has big eyes, and energy that rivals the energizer bunny.  He reminds me of one of those Japanese Anime characters.  He climbed up my legs to do continual back flips.  He said "I like Mike".  I like Shunda, too.  At 4 his English is excellent, his native Japanese is superb, and he speaks Chinese.  I can only imagine what is in store for this little warrior in training.

Remember my last post about having only a smile to reach out.  Well, smiling and saying Hi at the bus stop,  I made my first Chinese friend, Kevin.  He is into World trade (Imagine that! :) )  We met and had lunch at Papa John's.  Good times.  He is going to treat me to Chinese food after the new year.  I am reminded that in God's economy there are no coincidences.

So, New Years, New Classes, and New friends reminds me of the Ultimate One who makes all things new.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.


May you know every new thing that God has planned FOR YOU this new year!

The likeness of a foreigner...

After a quick start here, I got slammed to the ground with a bout of stomach flu for 24 hours.  Picture Jesus and the lukewarm Laodiceans.  The rest and sleep gave me a chance to reflect on some feelings about coming here.

I am homesick.   I want to go home now, already!  Familiarity of language, food, location, customs, and comrades, I have a longing.  Don't get me wrong, my friends are treating me well and helping me to get acclimated.  Going from a mild to cold climate,  independence to dependence, meat to vegetables, is a shock to my system.

I have a nice bed, warm dwelling, plenty of food, computer, and reliable bus transportation.  I am still considered the wealthiest of this planet.  Why am I longing for something more?

Is it okay to feel this way?  What is home?  Where is home?

A little reflection led me to wonder, "did Jesus ever get homesick?"
The King of Glory, to helpless babe, did He miss some perks?  I am not sure if He did or not, but I recalled Philippians 2 where it mentions Christ's attitude more than anything else.

^{Phil 2:5} Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, ⁶ who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, ⁷ but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. ⁸ And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. 


Wow!  I then remember the words commitment, diligence, grace, humility, and perseverance.

I found myself in the likeness of a foreigner the other day.  While having a shrimp/cabbage meal (not something I have ever had), I was instructed to rip the head and tail off and pull the shell off before eating.  As I ripped one head off, I squirted cabbage juice into the eye of the principal of the school.  She was very gracious, but I was very embarrassed.   I was surprised at how long she wiped at her face.

I generate lots of looks being a tall, bald, white guy.  In my own culture, this might make me angry, but here I take it as opportunity to smile.  This is about the only way I can share God's love right now, not knowing any Mandarin.

As Amber replies to her Mom every morning via text, "a vapor",  and her Mom, "a mist".  No matter what is going on, I think I can make it a little longer remembering this life is but a vapor and a mist, and that my real home is citizenship in Heaven.  Lord, help me complete my purpose and mission here in this foreign land.

Never in a million years...

This is kind of like the sequel to my last post in October where I listed all of the events that happened in the last couple of years that I never would have imagined.  Here are a few more...

I am in Asia for a second time in less than a year.

Friends of mine, and I are in a condo where we stayed in April as guests, but are now the occupants.

Watching Sam dazzle me with her teaching skills to Asian  preschoolers, and loving it.

Eating a lunch consisting of an onion entree, rice, eggplant, tofu noodles, cabbage, and peppers.

Sitting contently on a Saturday night at 7:30 pm writing a blog.

So, I'm a few days away from observing a very skilled friend teach young children the story of the Three Little Pigs and infusing timeless principles of the Word by incorporating the parable of the two men who built upon sand and rock.

Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would be teaching here, let alone with 3 wonderful people I have met in the last 2 years.

So, as you dream of your future, don't worry about what might seem so improbable.  It probably will be if it is of God.

I am trying to build my dwelling on the Rock that doesn't fail when the roaming Lion comes to devour and destroy.  The Rock is the only thing that will not fail.  Try it and dream of the improbable.  It will always keep you on the edge of your seat.

The Lord directs the path...

Four and half years ago, I planned a move to San Diego.  I was going to move to this cool beach community.  Enjoy the weather, the So Cal lifestyle and all of it appealed to me greatly.  I figured I would join a church, make some friends and enjoy life here in San Diego.

What I did not plan in those four and half years...

Getting laid off
Going to a diverse church
Living on the beach
Signing up for Discipleship Training
Hiking Catalina with heavy pack
Going to Haiti (twice)
Serving like never before
Three great friends, one Uzbek, and one Argentine, and one over seventy
A connect group that seemed so odd, but still meets up
Friends that I can't imagine being without
Big Bear adventures
Nehemiah breakdown that helped me erect some boundaries
Joshua teaching that broke paradigms
Digging a pit in the Philippines
Picking up sand dollars and starfish on a far away Tondol beach
Awesome, unforgettable worship times
Prayer walks in forgotten/unwanted areas of San Diego
Singing with the "Asian" believers
Mentoring Lebanese, Hispanic, White, Filipino and Chinese believers
Learning more as a mentor than teaching
Entering a house church through Fruit store in China
Standing on the Great Wall with new Chinese friends
Feeling like a brother to  Chen Family in Zibo, China
Easter dinner in Lille, France
Royal Wedding in London
Thanksgiving with an Italian soccer star
Praising God during a blackout
Witnessing in Hawaii
Snorkeling with Fishes and seeing miracles in Honolulu
Standing up with a friend for the dedication of his child in an "Asian" church


Though it was not my way or plan,  it was far better than anything I could think up.

Proverbs 16:9
A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

Dear Jesus Letter

I'm getting lazy.  I decided to share an old classic of mine I did 15 years ago, but still seems relevant today.  When we ask Jesus questions of why something is happening in our lives with our focus so selfishly tuned, the answer is probably in the unselfish acts of Jesus.

DEAR JESUS,

Dear Jesus,

            Did you love me when I spilt my milk at the evening table?

Dear Michael,           

            I loved you so much I spilt my own blood for you.

Dear Jesus,

            Did you love me when I struck out at tee-ball?

Dear Michael,

            I loved you so much I was struck 39 times with a whip.

Dear Jesus,

            Did you love me when I got beat up at school?

Dear Michael,

            I loved you so much I was beaten, spat upon, and insulted on your behalf.

Dear Jesus,

            Did you love me when no one celebrated my birthday?

Dear Michael,

            I loved you so much I gave you a new birth.

Dear Jesus,

            Did you love me when my parents fought?

Dear Michael,

            I loved you so much I fought to the gates of Hell.

Dear Jesus,

            Did you love me when I did not live for you?

Dear Michael,

            I loved you so much I died for you.

Dear Jesus,

            Did you love me when I felt hopeless?

Dear Michael,

            I loved you so much I rose again to give you hope.

Dear Jesus,

            Do you love me when I am lonely?

Dear Michael,

            I love you so much I was alone on the cross.

Dear Jesus,

            Do you love me when I make promises I do not keep?

Dear Michael,

            I love you so much I can never break a promise I have made to you.

Dear Jesus,

            Do you love me when I complain of my lack of riches?

Dear Michael,

            I love you so much I gave you every spiritual blessing in Heaven.

Dear Jesus,

            Do you love me when I break all your commands?

Dear Michael,

            I love you so much I became sin for you.

Dear Jesus,

            When will I accept your unconditional love?

Dear Michael,           

            Not by your might, but by my power I have called you from the beginning

            of the Age.  My precious child, rest your weary, heavy heart in mine and I

            will give you peace.  The work for you was finished on the cross.  Be

            convinced already that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities

            nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height nor depth,

            nor any other created thing will be able to separate you from my love.

            This is the truth!   It will make you free! I have, and always will, love you dearly,

            my dear, precious, Michael.

Raymart's ramparts

Rampart is a defensive wall.  Raymart is a young guy in the Philippines I met a couple of weeks ago.  I was so impressed with this young man's initiative and dedication to God's Word.  He decided back a few month's ago to memorize one verse a day for a year...well, he had over 100 memorized already...and he could recite them immediately with no hesitation.

I was thinking how writing God's Word on one's heart was a great shield and guard to his mind and soul.  Jesus used scripture to ward off and send running the devil.  He countered each temptation with scripture and truth to make all of Satan's schemes and lies null and ineffective.

Thank you Raymart for your example and encouragement to build ramparts of scripture around my heart and mind.

Psalm 119:9, 11 "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. [11] I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."

Why should God let me into Heaven?

I ran across a document I wrote as part of an application to get into a choir.  The question asked, "What would you tell God if He asked you why should He let you into Heaven?"

Dear Lord,

I am a sinner, separated from you by my own rebellion and by my inherited unworthiness.  I have broken all of your commands at a heart level.  I have made myself God in my own sight.  I am very sorry for this.  (Rom 3:11)

However, you searched for me and called me.  I am so thankful for that.  I accepted your invitation to relationship in 1994.  I received you and made you my own.  I claimed your Son’s crucified blood and body as the payment for my sins.  I believe your Son is alive and exalted.  It is His worthiness and His alone that I claim as my own.   Your Holy Spirit’s seal has confirmed this.  I am a fellow heir with your own Son, and an adopted child of Yours. (John 11:25, Eph 1:7, Gal 3:26-29 and Gal 4:1-7)

You have marked me.  You chose me.  I have citizenship in Your Heaven now.  (Eph 1:13, Eph 2:8, Eph 1:4, Phil 4:20)

You cannot condemn me because I am buried with Christ, and resurrected with Him also.  I am so glad you only see your Son’s glory when you look at me.  Thank you for forgiving and forgetting my sins.  (Rom 8:1-2)

You have made these promises and declarations and cannot go back on your own word. (Psalm 145:14)

PS.  Of course God will not ask me why He needs to let me into His heaven.  My name will be already written in the book of Life, and I only long to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant”.  

Thank you for the opportunity to remind myself of these wonderful, other-worldly, blessings on my life.

Jesus is coming soon.  And, I will be ready.

I wrote that 3 years ago in an application sense trying to show off my knowledge of eternal security.  Truthfully, I think I would probably just fall on my face and ask for Mercy.

The nightmare before Christmas!

This time of year reminds me to be very thankful.  Jump in my blog and go for a ride with me for a few minutes.  I had just left a Christmas Party at my office in San Diego.  I was excited for the mug, candy, and gift card to McDonald's.   It was the Christmas season and I was leaving right after our lunch to head to Phoenix to spend the holidays with my family.  It is about a 5 hour ride if you don't stop too long in Yuma for gas and food.  I prayed that God would give me the opportunity to give like He had given so much to me.  And I was off....


The first 2 1/2 hours went by quickly through the mountains and desert.  I play my Christian music through my ipod and just sing along the whole way.  The time goes by very quickly.  I made my usual stop in Yuma for gas.   It was a cold night, and I saw a man with a sign that read "hungry and traveling".   Hmm...I thought, as I slowed down.    I rolled down the window, and instead of just giving a dollar, I asked him, "Where are you going?"  He replied, "Gila Bend."  He then asked me where I was going.  I meekly answered, "Phoenix."  Gulp.  I knew that I had opened a can of worms and he now knew there was no reason for me not to take him in my big, spacious, Nissan Murano.  Oh well, I thought, then replied, "Come on in, I'll get you to Gila Bend."


As soon as he got in the car, I realized I had misjudged the situation greatly.  The smell of  body odor and alcohol permeated his being.  Trying to think quickly, I asked if he wanted some food, hoping this might sober him up.  He said yes.  I stopped across the street at KFC to get a quick sandwich.  He got out of the car and followed me in.  He was making a scene, being loud, and everyone was looking at me.  I was so embarrassed.  And, fear was starting to grow inside me.


Fortunately, I thought quickly before we got into the car.  I made a call to my brother and told him the situation, and said to call me back in 2 hours.   If I didn't answer, he was to call the police.  As I got in, I put a small knife between my legs, hidden, so that I might react to any troublesome situation.  I unlocked his door and the journey commenced.


Things seemed to start out okay.  We got on the road, and he starts the conversation with, "I guess this is where I tell you my story."  After a pause, he grinned and told me his name was Shawn.  He started telling his story, it was mostly jumbled, disconnected, and contradictory.  Sometimes I think he realized the contradictions and would backtrack his story.  But, being very inebriated, he couldn't follow his own story.  Let me just say that the words, "on the run", "murder one", "killed a nigger", "sister's a whore", "pedophila", "child abuse" all came up during thIs introduction.   Needless to say, I am very scared and wondering when I will have to draw my knife.  My heart was pounding, and I think every sense in my body was on full alert.  


He then told me he had to go pee.  I saw a rest area sign in another couple miles.  He couldn't wait.  He said he'd just go in his pants.  He did smell as if that was an option, but I didn't want it on my seats.  So, I saw an empty cup.  He whipped his penis out and started peeing as I sped down the highway.  Oh my, what was happening?  How did I get into this mess.  He proceeded to tell me more of his story, but he seemed to start getting angry and scarier.  I tried to steer the conversation to happy topics, but his life seemed to have so many sad and tragic endings.  At one point, he stopped talking to me and turned his head and just started staring at me.  I was ready to stab him, but I just asked him why he was staring at me.  There seemed something very sinister in his response.  He sneered, "I'm deciding, if I'm going to pick on you."  My heart skipped a beat.  I know the next response came from the Holy Spirit because everything else in my body was screaming, "Get out of here!"  But, I responded, calmly, "You are not going to do any picking.  I will have to let you out if you do."  I thought to myself, "How stupid was that, Mike."   


About this time, the border stop about half way to Gila Bend appeared.  There were lots of cars and Border Police.  I could have this guy arrested, or turned in, or something.  As my car was getting closer, "Shawn" took something out of his pocket and threw it out of the window.  It looked like a small piece of paper.  I asked him, "What was that?"   He replied smiling, then laughing, "Drugs".  It didn't look like anything, and I thought, "Doesn't this hitchhiker know any hiking etiquette?"  How silly, as if I thought I knew these rules.  The checkpoint appeared, and my decision was nearing, but all I could hear was a voice telling me that I promised to get him to Gila Bend.  What?!  God, you have to be kidding?  Integrity, now?  Well, I slowly pulled away from my last hope.


As we resumed conversing, Shawn took off his hat.  His thick hair was matted but the sides that were outside the hat were sticking up, giving this man the look of horns.  Every time he looked at me, I thought I was looking into the face of Satan.  The cars thinned out, it was about 8 pm, and I just knew that my life might end at any moment.  His every movement was closely monitored by my eyes.  I was ready to send the car into a roll if he tried anything.  It seemed as though he was looking at my legs, and I kept wondering if he saw my knife.


About 30 miles from Gila Bend, he said he had to pee again.  This time there was no cup.  He suggested going in his pants again.  Nooooooo!  I took the first exit, pulled to the side and said "Pee, out there."  I realized that now I was stopped.  He could kill me right here.  I could speed away right now, and just leave him there.  Why couldn't I do this?  I kept hearing the voice, "Keep your word."  
He got back into the car, and he seemed to be getting less drunk, which scared me, because his strength and coordination seemed to be returning.  My heart beat faster and stronger.


Finally, I start doing most of the talking.  I ask him if he knows Jesus.  He says a little.  He says he tried to be a Christian once, but it didn't work.  I explained that the great thing about Jesus, is that He gives us more than just one chance.  And, even if it didn't work on his merit, Jesus still paid the penalty for him if he wanted to accept him as his Savior.  He seemed confused, and seemed sorrowful.  I asked him if I could pray for him.  He declined.  I kept talking about Jesus, because it seemed to soothe him and me. He did say something very sad, that he had no friends, no family. He said, "I guess you are my family."  Although, that sounded very creepy to me, the said thing was, I was probably the closest thing to a family he had seen in a long time.


I was speeding down Interstate 8 at about 95 mph.  I didn't care if I got stopped, at least this guy would get picked up.  No such luck.  However, the lights of Gila Bend came into view.  Wow!  I was never so happier to see Gila Bend.  


I was growing stronger, and bolder with my declarations about Jesus.  He seemed defeated.  It was strange, my heart still felt compassion on him even after being the most scared I had been in my life at his hands.  


I asked him where I could drop him, and he said, "McDonald's".  It was cold out and I wished him luck.  I pulled into McDonald's and parked.  But, he seemed to not to want to move.  He slowly opened the door, then turned and lunged toward my leg.  I visibly flinched.  He took ahold of my leg, and said, "You promised to pray for me!"  Relieved, I said, "Yes, I did."  I said a short, sincere prayer for him for traveling mercies and for God to stay near to him.  He said, "Thank You." and started to leave.  I said, "Wait".  Here is a gift card.  I think it was meant for you.  He took it and left.   SIGH.


I drove a half mile to Burger King, got out and went to the rest room, washed my hands, said a prayer of thanks to God, and got a few paper towels to wipe down my car seat. It smelled of urine and body odor all the rest of the way to Phoenix. God had answered my prayers.  I was a different person, and hopefully, Shawn was too.

Mr. Love's Testimony

Last year I signed up for Lifeline Ministries at the Rock.  It is a ministry that visits those in Nursing homes needing consistent care.  Some are there only for short visits and others are there for the rest of their lives.


The reason for the visits are just to share God's love for those trapped in a bed, lonely, or just needing conversation.  


There were some very advanced patients that could not move or talk.  Those broke my heart.  The nurses said they could hear and understand, so I just prayed for them and encouraged them to talk to God in their minds.  I would stroke their face or hands to let them know that someone cared.  Sometimes it was very difficult, but most of the time I'd let go of any inhibition or fear and let God's love work through me.


One of the patients mostly encouraged me.  I'd walk into his room, and he'd look over, he couldn't recognize me because his vision was blurring because of the MS.  He could barely move one hand still and was able to talk and move his head.  I'd say Hello, his smile would light up, and his eyebrows would raise from recognition.


He had been a gang banger, and had some pretty serious tattoos.  He had dark curly hair.  He always talked about his two boys whom he was so proud.  He was tall about 6'4", and talked of his basketball days. 


While taking drugs he overdosed and fell into a coma for 6 months. He loved telling me of his first visit to the afterlife.  He saw his Grandmother there and his wife's Father who both had just recently passed away.  His Grandmother slugged him in the arm, and told him he wasn't supposed to be there.  That is when he came back into consciousness, and was revived.  


His Grandmother used to read him the Bible and teach him songs like "Jesus loves me", and "This little light of me".  He could recite the 23rd Psalm, and John 3:16.  I would always make him recite his verses and we'd sing both those songs together.  He would always laugh.  He always wanted me to pray for his boys and his family.  He so wanted to be with them and watch over them.


He said he was lonely and we'd pray for visitors.  He was always excited to tell me when the prayers were answered and his boys would come visit.  


Later, I asked him if he wanted to learn another Love verse.  See, his name was Robert Love, and I'd always refer to him as MR. Love.  I told him there was a chapter in the Bible written about him.  The love chapter in 1st Corinthians 13.  

 ⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸Love never fails.

I changed it a bit, and would say Robert Love is patient, Robert Love is kind, Robert Love does not envy...and so on.

He would always get the biggest smile.  

Since his hearing was his best sense, I got him an Ipod shuffle and put some of his favorites rap artists on it.  I also snuck the audio book of John on it.  He laughed the next week after he listened to his rap interspersed with a narrator reading John.  He said he loved it, and  it helped him sleep.

One week I got to the nursing home and he wasn't in his room.  The nurses told me he was at the hospital because he had the flu.  I got the name of the hospital and went.  The nurse there told me he was discharged.  I asked where?  She said back to the home.  I had hoped I had just missed him in the transfer.  I learned the next week after visiting his room that he had been discharged.  He had been discharged of his duties on this earth, and the Lord took him home.  I cried hard.  I missed Mr. Love.  I can still hear his voice repeating the verses in his special accent, and singing those children's song.

Yes, Mr. Love and I will sing those songs to Jesus together one day, and I can hardly wait.

Don't let your circumstances rob you of joy.  Reach out and Love somebody.

1 John 4:16 

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. ¹⁷In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. ¹⁸There is no fear in love.

Unfinished Ending...

After returning from my first trip to Haiti, there seemed to be an air of unfinished business to what we had experienced.  Ali Kaun shared a story from Luke 8:26 about the demon possessed man who wanted to stay at Jesus feet, but Jesus sent him to proclaim what had happened.  Does that seem weird?  Jesus sending someone away, that wanted to follow him.  What happened after that?  She gave an assignment to share 14 "verses" of unfinished business from Haiti.

Here is what I wrote:

1 While the Do Something celebration transpired, a street kid attached himself to my side and followed me wherever I went.  2   He clutched my hand while we walked, and hugged my neck when I picked him up.  He continually smoothed my arm airs between his fingers in a relaxing perpetual motion.  3  This boy asked for water, and I had none, and asked for food, I had none of that either.  He still followed with a big smile content for the affection and love that I willingly gave him.  4  I carried him through the event with his head on my shoulder and my arms around his back squeezing intermittently.  5  A young man approached me with an urgent request for food.  6  I had none to give.  I told him that what he needed was food from heaven and Living Water.  7  He repeated a familiar refrain – “Give me a Bib.”  8  I went to the back stage where a mob-like scene had developed with many Haitians clamoring for Bibles.  We had run out of Creole Bibles.  9  I came back to the young man, who looked defeated as I returned with no Bible.  10  I looked deep into his eyes and told him that I loved him, and that Jesus loved him.  11  I implored him to ask God to send his Holy Bible to him.  I promised that God would surely get a Bible to him someway if he prayed for one.  12 The young man’s countenance changed and he leaned in to give me a hug.  In broken Creole he told me, “Compliments to you for loving me.”  I pointed to the sky to the true source of Love and Life.  13  Chaos started to ensue at the Celebration Event, and our leaders gave direction to head for the truck for a fast departure.  14  I set the young boy down, gave him a hug, and the young man a hug and climbed into the truck.  As we departed with the last vision of two Haitians with outstretched arms, I wondered would they get water or food anytime soon, and would Jesus honor his plea for a Bib?

Matt 6:32b-33

For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you

From China with Love...

My friend Andrew Gyure is in China visiting some orphans north of Beijing on Yalu river over the border from North Korea.  Andy is such a talented writer and traveller that I thought you'd want to eavesdrop on this letter.


Ni hao everyone!

Internet access has been very limited so it's been hard to send any updates before now.  This could be my only one.  We are in the countryside and the living is very primitive by our standards.  The internet goes on and off but mostly it's off.  The electricity constantly goes on and off too.  There have been torrential rain storms for the last 5 days and the lightning is always knocking out the power.   But even when there is no rain, the utilities are far from dependable.  A few days ago I had composed a multiple-paragraph email to you when all of a sudden ... C R A A A A C K!  Lightning knocked the computer out and I lost the entire message.

Upon exiting baggage claim at the Shenyang Airport, I had expected to head for the taxi stand to catch a ride to the train station for my 3 hour journey to the children's home in Dandong.  Instead, I was greeted by a gracious-looking Asian woman wearing a straw hat festooned with ribbons and a flowing scarf (picture an Asian version of Mary Poppins) surrounded by 6 precious children all screaming "Wo men wan ying ni qu Zhong Guo!" (We Welcome You to China!)  It was Kay Lee, Director of the Fengcheng Children's Home.  She and the kids decided to surprise me by picking me up at the airport!  Before I could say "kung pao chicken" two of the older kids whisked my bags out to a waiting van and off we went on the first adventure -- a visit to the Shenyang General Hospital.  One of the kids who recently had an operation for cleft pallet was getting a check up.  What an experience -- if you think the ER's are overcrowded and understaffed in the U.S., you should have seen this place!

I am truly loving and savoring the interaction with the children -- it makes bearing the adverse living conditions worth it.  I am staying in a small (7' x 10') quarter meant for staff.  My next door "neighbor" is the gardener/maintenance man.  There aren't enough descriptive words in my vocabulary to describe the horrendous bathroom I share with him.  Only scalding hot water barely trickles out of the shower head.  The toilet is typical Chinese -- a basin in the floor.  You squat and do your business and hope to God the thing flushes when you pull the string connected to the water tank.  Most of the time it does not flush and you have to use a bucket of water to force your waste down the hole.  There is a small tear in the screen in my window, and with the rain storms, mosquitos have been a BIG problem as are flies.  After racking up no less than 15 mosquito bites, I finally went to town and bought a mosquito net.  Other than the frequent rain, weather has not been as bad as I expected.  It's actually been cool enough to sleep fairly well.  (Thanks for your prayers!)  If only it weren't for the Chinese pillows -- they are like sleeping on a sack of rice, in fact, I'll bet that's exactly what is under the scratchy pillowcase!

I've been teaching the children American folksongs, helping them to practice English and just playing and hanging out with them.  I am also teaching them how to email and use the internet.  If I can find the ingredients at the local store, I want to make chocolate chip cookies one night.  I also took them hiking on the far eastern terminus of the Great Wall which is only 20 miles from here. The bad weather has forced us inside much of the time, but we have been able to shoot baskets and play badminton two or three times.  I also held a "movie night" with Chinese Jet Li DVD's and microwave popcorn -- they had never seen microwave popcorn before!  (I brought it from home-- it's not sold in the markets here.)  The older boys love to just wrestle and engage in all kinds of  horseplay.  Either I overestimated their ability to speak English or mine to speak Mandarin (or a combination of both), but there is more of a communication gap than I thought there would be.  Most of them are "special ed" kids and far behind the other Chinese children their age who can speak English very well.  It didn't take long for me to realize I have ALOT more Mandarin to learn before I can truly communicate well with the Chinese people.  Just knowing the conversational "basics" doesn't really cut it.  But it doesn't take knowing Mandarin to communicate the love of Christ -- I can tell that a smile, a warm hug, my undivided attention and my presence here goes a long way with these children.

The home is run entirely on biblical principles.  The kids spend 6:30 - 7:15 every morning reading their bibles.  We painted a mural of the story of Noah's Ark on one of the walls in the house.  Some of the children grow their own vegetables on the premises; the home actually pays them for what they harvest and then incorporates the produce into the children's meals, thereby teaching them the value of money.  There is a darling little place called "The King's Cafe" where guests and volunteers can relax and hang out and receive their meals.  It doubles as a training ground for 3 of the children with special needs so they learn aspects of good restaurant service-- right down to presenting a check with a mint!  The hope is that one day they can get jobs in the hospitality industry (which is flourishing in China) and thereby contribute to society and earn a living.  One of the things I've been asked to do, given my hotel background, is to teach them some principles of good customer service.  I've conducted 2 "classes" so far, also incorporating some scriptural elements of service and servanthood.  The training was very well received.

The food has been better than I expected and very healthy.  Lots of egg, vegetable and noodle dishes.  And spicy pickled vegetables, an influence from neighboring Korea.  Sometimes something special like meat and vegetable stuffed steamed buns and boiled dumplings.  I'm trying not to offend the ladies in the kitchen by not eating white rice (my doctor has outlawed it for weight loss purposes.)  They give me a baffled look when I pass the rice bowl by as it is, of course, the staple of their diet.  The boys must eat 4 huge bowls with every meal.  I don't know where they put it all!

One of the best aspects of being here is that believe it or not, there is a wonderful little Christian church just up the hill.  The children routinely scamper up there for rehearsals, classes and services. Compared to the other buildings in this area, it is quite modern and comfortable. It is what is known as a "Three-Self" Church, or one of the government-sanctioned and approved Protestant churches in China.  "Three self" refers to the three principles of self-governance, self-support (i.e., financial independence from foreigners) and self-propagation (i.e., indigenous missionary work.)  Governmental influence over Three-Self churches varies widely from city to city and province to province.  I am told the one here has very little regulation or interference from the government.  The church is so close that, during my first 4 nights here, I was actually lulled to sleep by the sweet strains of their choir, practicing their hearts out for an annual praise and worship service that took place this past Sunday night, which I was prvileged to attend.  What a joy to see a place filled to the rafters with Chinese Christians worshipping authentically and with great excitement.  They have a 20-member choir, a praise band, even words to the songs projected on a screen, just like home!  The lady that runs the children's home knows the pastor well and is trying to arrange with the pastor for me to sing "How Great Thou Art" in Mandarin in front of the entire church this coming Sunday!

I have spent one day playing "tourist" in the city of Dandong, walking the "broken bridge" between China and North Korea; "broken" because the American troops bombed it during the Korean War.  (So you can walk halfway across only.)  The contrast between the North Korean and Chinese shoreline of the river is amazing.  Dandong has high rise buildings and a thriving tourist wharf buzzing with activity while North Korea has one or two ramshackle buildings.  Interestingly, the North Korean side also has a ferris wheel -- most likely a facade to make it appear that people have happy lives there.  Word has it no one in Dandong has ever seen the ferris wheel turning.   I got talked into sharing a speedboat ride on the Yalu River with a group of tourists from Singapore -- there were 5 of them plus me.  Before I knew it, to my horror and distress, the captain had us across the river and hugging the North Korean shoreline.  I was shocked that he took us over the border into North Korean waters and protested vigorously.  I kept ducking down to hide my caucasian face thinking that shots could ring out at any second.  (There was no visible military presence at all, but you never know.) The driver kept telling me "it's OK, it's OK", but I insisted he get us out of there immediately.  We were close enough to see people riding bicycles and harvesting crops!  All I could keep thinking about is the whole thing blowing into an international incident and having to explain to Hillary Clinton what the hell I was doing on that boat.

I also explored a very raw and gritty country marketplace featuring meat, seafood and produce. Ducks were being beheaded right in front of me, live giant crickets were writhing in huge bowls destiined to become someone's next meal, and wrinlkly-faced women pounded out thin Chinese pancakes and sold them 20 for 25 cents.  There are not many Western tourists here, if any, so a 6'3" blue-eyed caucasian draws lots of stares and curiosity.  I must have posed for a dozen different pictures while looking around there.

I just heard thunder which means lightning can't be far away, so I had better hit "send" before I lose this entire message too!

Please pray for my mom while I'm away, so far she's doing fine and I'd love to keep it that way!

Love,

Andrew



God's Speed Andrew!